Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Globally Gagged.

I know, I know, I promised you sex and instead I’m giving your political rants. I’ll put a 50 word porn short at the end; does that make it better?

Anyway, some of you may be familiar with the global gag rule. It is basically a Bush administration policy that forces any organization that receives AIDS or family planning related funding from the US government to teach abstinence. This doesn’t affect most people in the US, but it puts me in a very hard place.

It means I have to choose between funding and effective education. I can talk about HIV and STDs but not about sex. Or I can give up $5,000 worth of funding per project, which may not sound like much, but in the developing world is actually quite a bit of money.

This is where my biases and values come into play. I will not teach sex as dirty and disease ridden. I consider communication and relationship building skills to be a large part of STD and HIV prevention, and as such they are valid components of my training programs. Abstinence is a valid choice, but saying that it is the only choice will leave my students woefully unprepared to make safe and healthy decisions down the line.

So I compromise. I need the funding to do my job, but I will not teach an abstinence only program. So I bring in team building, and communication. I talk about myths and facts of HIV under the protection of “disease prevention.” I buy condoms with non-government dollars, but in the end I leave the conversations about sex as a positive thing to other people with less restrictive funding. And you know what; this is one of those things where my values cross professional boundaries.

I do not stop being sex-positive when I walk into the office, or even when I sit down to apply for US government funding.  I go back and forth on this a lot. There is a voice in the back of my head that tells me time and time again “it’s just sex, it’s not that important.” It says that when I get upset about abstinence education and when the thing I miss more than anything else about America is the alt sex community.   But sex is important, whether or not it’s supposed to be it is important to me, and my sex-positive philosophy informs the rest of my life.



And I did promise you a 50 word porn short (though I apologies if those of you reading my private blog have already seen this):



There is something about a crisp starched white dress-shirt that is more risqué than black lace can ever hope to be. It hangs unbuttoned exposing one shoulder, framing the tanned skin over her collar bone. Her nipples peek out casually, perhaps a bit suggestively, from under the stiff white fabric.



Written by kinkinexile

July 13, 2007 at 7:44 am

One Response

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  1. Hi Kinkinexile,
    Agree with you abstinenece should be a choice out of the many that a person chooses. Empowerment should be the key as you appear o be advocating.

    Kinky sex bit sounds good too!

    Winslie Gomez

    July 13, 2007 at 9:59 am

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