Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Your turn to talk

What was the first image of BDSM that you remember seeing?  Did you stumble across it on the internet?  Did you find your parents’ porn collection when you were in highschool?  Did you know someone who knew someone?

For me it was always just there.  My parents kept the sex reference books on the living room bookshelf (though I was still naive enough to ask my mother what oral sex was after watching a special on the morning news about how to explain the Clinton affair to your children).  lets just say I was a late bloomer.

There is one incident that left me fascinated long before I figured out what I was fascinated by though.  This was in a deli in Manhattan.  I must have been about 14 or 15, and I was at a deli in Manhattan and this couple walked in.  The woman was wearing these incredibly tight red pants and as they were waiting at the counter the guy slapped her ass.  She moaned.  She just moaned in the middle of a deli somewhere in midtown on a Sunday morning —  I still remember the sounds; the sharp slap followed by her moan.  she seemed to have physically lengthened like she was going to turn into something altogether unreal.  I don’t remember their faces anymore, or really my reaction, just those very tight red pants.

Written by kinkinexile

August 10, 2007 at 4:11 am

Posted in blogging, memories, personal

4 Responses

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  1. The first “image” I can specifically remember which I then equated to kink was pretty much the entire original Planet of the Apes movie. Now, I realize that’s not the same thing, being a series of ideas that I perverted into a BDSM mindset rather than a specific instance of BDSM. But all of my early memories of kink have similar themes – a picture or scene from some kind of media which I then rearranged in my head to become sexualized.

    Now I’m trying to think of the first image I found of BDSM that was intended to be kinky. I can’t think of a specific instance, but if it comes to me I’ll let you know.

    Your woman in red pants – what a great story.


    August 10, 2007 at 6:22 pm

  2. When I was 13, I was obsessed with a romance novel called “Hellion” by Beatrice Small. I mean “obsessed” — I must have read it a zillion times, and I can even tell you know the approximate page where the good stuff starts (370-something). Mind you, I didn’t really understand most of it, couldn’t picture much of what was described, and certainly didn’t know any non-euphemisms… but I knew it was sexy :). And thinking about it in retrospect, it covered threesomes, bondage, s/m, and I’m sure a slew of other things I don’t remember anymore.

    The funnier part is that about a year ago, a friend of mine wanted to read a sexy romance novel, and asked me for a recommendation. I picked that one, remembering that it was sexy but not much else about it, since it’s been a while. She actually went and got it, and then came back shocked that I was reading such filth at the age 13 :).


    August 11, 2007 at 2:31 am

  3. I can’t think of the “first” images, but Ii can think of some early ones. I was always a bit precocious in my reading, and remember running across sci-fi stories that had elements of bondage, capture, medical play, things like that. And while I didn’t read the Gor books, there were other books that were similar enough in tone.

    Sci-fi and horror movies were great resources for budding BDSMers. Always someone chained to something, caged up, or strapped to a chair and made to talk.

    I also ran across Penthouse and Playboy as a young teen. My father had a subscription, and didn’t hide them very well. In fact, I probably read “Everything You Wanted to know about Sex” and “Joy of Sex” when I was 14. I suspect that my parent made them easy to find so I wouldn’t have to ask them any questions 😉

    It might have been in The Happy Hooker that I ran across more detailed descriptions of BDSM acts (I read it when I was 15 or 16). But I also remember seeing older “‘girlie mags” with Betty Paige and similar photos.

    But even earlier I remember certain dreams that involved me being held captive by tentacles or something. Invariably I’d wake up with a pre-teen stiffy. I went through a lot of Kleenex as a young’un.

    Tom Allen

    August 11, 2007 at 2:46 am

  4. The first bdsm-related things I remember encountering were in in Roald Dahl (he of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”) books. His young hero gets a vicious hand-rulering in school in “Danny the Champion of the World.” And I remember once encountering some grown-up book he had written in which he described how the younger boys at the boarding school were called “fags” and had to service the older boys (not sexually) and get caned by them and things like that. I didn’t know why that stuff fascinated me so much, but it did.

    I also encountered “Everything You Wanted to Know…” in my teen years. Looking back, I can’t believe how much misinformation that book had. “The Joy of Sex” was probably better – I read that when I was a bit older.

    I got a lot of erotic material as a teenager from Heinlein novels, which seemed to portray an exciting adult world of free-wheeling sexuality. (I would never recommend them now, but I thought they were incredibly erotic back then.)

    But the next BDSM thing I actually encountered was my mom’s copy of “The Story of O.” I don’t remember that it turned me on, exactly, but it fascinated me and I read it over and over. And over.

    As for visual images – none, ever, that I can remember. Obviously I’ve seen them since the Internet came around, but I don’t remember a single thing that moved me that way from childhood.


    August 19, 2007 at 2:35 am

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