Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Just a bit of news

Once again, my apologies for the late post.  Instead of frantically writing toward my self-imposed deadline this week I was frantically writing for an actual publication deadline and filling my spare time with concerts and dinner dates.  I think before too long this blog will be renamed “Kink in Mecca.” 

There are a lot of things on my mind just now so it might be another week before you get a nice formal not-all-about-me kind of post.  As I mentioned in my last post, I went to the TNG4 conference last weekend, which was an educational and play event for people ages 18-35.  It was a fairly small event, but in terms of workshops one of the best I had attended. It is really interesting to me to be part of a group of people who came into kink basically without resistance.  Now, I’m sure that there are people my age who have faced greater challenges and more opposition, but one of the things I keep noticing is how much freedom we take for granted.  It’s beautiful.  Sometimes kink is presented in a bubble and I don’t like that, I don’t like compartmentalization in my life, and so when I see people bringing their cultural heritage into their kink, or their art, or their work even, it’s a beautiful thing to me. 

I’m also having a lot of fun getting to know a new kink community here in the bay area, and playing with someone I’ve known for a while but haven’t really spent a lot of time with before moving out here. 

Oh, and I have a new safeword: “I’m calling the cops you fucking psycho.” Works great 🙂

Written by kinkinexile

February 23, 2008 at 9:48 pm

8 Responses

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  1. Kink without resistance. That’s very well put…


    February 23, 2008 at 10:19 pm

  2. Sounds like you’re having fun. Glad to hear.

    I’ve heard the bay area scene is very different from NYC. I’d love to know how you compare to the two.


    February 24, 2008 at 2:31 am

  3. “Kink without resistance” and freedom are interesting topics. I’ve been seeing them more just in the generally acceptance of sex, sex work, and sexuality. At least, I think. It’s a little hard for me to tell what’s a real change, what’s cyclical change, and what’s me getting older.


    February 24, 2008 at 6:52 am

  4. Axe, I don’t think I know the bay area scene well enough to say yet. It does seem like there is a lot more of it, by which I mean the NY scene seems to have a lot of overlap, and the Boston scene is downright incestuous, but out here there seem to be a lot of kink groups and the members of one are often unaware of the others. It also feels a lot more open in that the organizations and play events are bigger, better funded, more public, and tied into a wide support network of other groups, play spaces, and toy manufactures.

    Perhaps the most amazing part of it for me is that I feel like I am surrounded by leather history. (I think this is where boymeat comes after me with a cane because TES was the first pansexual BDSM group in the US and so leather history starts in NY, but still).


    February 26, 2008 at 7:49 am

  5. S, some days I wonder if I just live in a liberal bubble. In fact I’m rather sure that I do. I think the bar is just set in a different place in our social circle; the “other” changes but the dislike of the other is still present.


    February 26, 2008 at 7:51 am

  6. I’d be happy to come after you for a cane, but for more arbitrary reasons than what you are giving me here. No one could ever say that NYC is the 1st city of SM history, but of course, I’d never call San Francisco that either. Not when there are plenty of other cities to examine, like:

    LA – hometown of the 1st Gay Motorcycle Club, The Satyrs, in 1954. The 2nd Club, Oedipus MC, is founded here in 1958.

    Chicago – hometown of the 1st American Gay Leather Bar, The Gold Coast, Bar, which opened in 1958. (The second US leather bar, The Big Dollar, opened in NYC in 1959.)

    Or maybe Amsterdam – Birthplace of the Leather Bar when The Argos opened in 1957.


    February 26, 2008 at 4:47 pm

  7. Phil, you’re really hot when you talk about history. Just saying.

    Also, do you happen to know when the first BDSM publications happened? And if microfilm archives exist?


    February 26, 2008 at 7:11 pm

  8. Hmmm. Well, that depends on what you consider a BDSM publication.

    For example, in 1951, Physique Pictorial began publishing. This was one of the first magazines where men could see men photographed in risque, butch poses with little clothing (and later on in its publishing history, none). It is also where Americans were first exposed to the art of people like Etienne and Tom of Finland (1957 specifically), helping to establish the look and feel of the traditional leatherman.

    Or you can consider the Justice Weekly, a Canadian newspaper which got its start in 1949 and was published until 1972. Here, readers were titalized by stories involving sexual perversion and fetish, and it was the only place where kinky heterosexuals could find each other through their secretive personal ad section. People posting ads had to seek “Greek”, or “English pleasures”, or look for men who “are in control of their lives.”

    If you’re talking books beyond Kinsey’s work or Kraft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis, or porn novels (like the old Victorian porn and Story of O), the first really major book published was William Carney’s The Real Thing in 1968. Then in 1972, The Leathermen’s Handbook.

    Now for magazines. Not counting porn, the Cycle MC club out of NYC started publishing their newsletter “Wheels” in 1968. Not on microfilm anywhere, but I believe the Leather Archives has a set. In that same year, the group Nine Plus (NYC) started printing “Scimitar” and the New York Motor Bike Club started “Black and Blue.”

    The first leather column in a newspaper was in the Bay Area Reporter, when Mr. Marcus began his column in 1972. Also, 1972 saw the magazine “SMAds” – a strictly gay male personals magazine for SM/Leather.

    I forget what year TES began publishing Prometheus, our own members newsletter/SM magazine, but it was very early on. Drummer started in 1975. And in 1979, Tony DeBlase started DungeonMaster, the first SM how-to magazine.

    I haven’t heard of any microfilm collections of any of the above anywhere.


    February 26, 2008 at 8:37 pm

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