Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad


Recently I had a wonderful conversation with Sexgeek about the nature and use of protocols in a D/s relationship. I’ve wanted to incorporate protocols into some of the things I do for a while, but it’s always a challenge coming from a very liberal and fluid place to make that meaningful.

One of the things Sexgeek kindly pointed out is that protocols are an expression of something that is already there. Following protocols does not make important emotional work happen. However, when important emotional work has happened or is happening using titles and protocols can be a good way to codify it. It creates a structure around something that is already there, and doesn’t that just sound more organic than kneeling because you saw it in the porno?

So what protocols have you used in this context and what have they meant to you?

Written by kinkinexile

April 23, 2008 at 6:02 am

Posted in headspace, personal, topping

2 Responses

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  1. In terms of codifying something that was already there, I think it’s when my (ex) sub and I agreed that I was her Daddy and she my little girl. The relationship dynamic was already there, it was just a way of putting the relationship we had at that point onto a clearly defined level. It definitely involves some protocol based around that ageplay theme.


    April 23, 2008 at 11:02 pm

  2. Protocols are one of the languages of D/s and are a comfort to the submissive and make dominating that much easier.


    June 7, 2008 at 2:01 pm

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