Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Femme Mama

I was reading Femmeinistfucktoy this morning when something struck me. I’m still trying to conceptualize it, and given that I’ve been struggling to write more than a couple of paragraphs lately, I don’t think I’ve quite got it. But where it starts is modalities of queer identity and modalities of heterosexuality.

Nothing I do is straight. Which is to say, nothing I do is heteronormative (as distinct from heterosexual).

Sometimes I watch other people play and I feel like it’s something wholly different from what I do. I can never put my finger on it, could never point to specific behaviors or words, but it feels like a different game entirely. I am starting to suspect that the difference lies in that underlying current of queer energy that runs through my scenes. Queer energy? Counter culture identity, a communal history of challenging the status quo, a shared identity based in iconography that originated in the bathhouse and back allies.

I got my sex education in the radical sex movement. I was presented not only with a sampling of the possibilities and the diversities of human sexuality, but also with methods of communication, expressions of power, and modalities for interpersonal interaction. Vis-a-vis the unconsidered unquestioning romp I associate with heteronormative sexuality, this is not “straight.”

Written by kinkinexile

January 30, 2009 at 11:56 pm

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