Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

terms of endearment

“Filthy little slut.” This is the term of contention in the email exchange between myself and an editor. Too graphic? Insulting? Would “slut” be more approachable? No, slut is still insulting to women. Perhaps “girl?” But I find that insulting in context. “Pretty thing” “little girl” “baby” are all acceptable, but “slut” is, I am given to understand, off-putting and harsh; an insult to women’s sexuality and a liability when it comes to sales.

Let’s revisit this shall we? “Little girl” is an acceptable term to use with a grown woman in a sexual context. “Slut” is not. I wish I could say that my porn is not political, but I am starting to think that the act of writing pornography, and more specifically the act of writing pornography from a female perspective in which female characters are seen as strong and autonomous agents is a political act.

What other words do we have for a woman who does not need to be tricked into sex with the promise of love true love?

Written by kinkinexile

March 17, 2009 at 1:26 pm

5 Responses

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  1. mama, boo, hotty, sweetie, cutie, chick, main squeeze, shawty, fuck buddy, lady, baby cakes, honey, pumpkin, muffin, querida, mi vida, sugartits, hunny, sweetness, sweetiepie, honeybunch, sugarpie … did I mention darling?

    BTW, I think slut is definitely acceptable for a sub-guy!

    advochasty

    March 17, 2009 at 2:58 pm

  2. hmm, that’s not quite what I was getting at though. Slut as a term specifically for a sub-guy seems like you’re implying it’s a good term for humiliation play. I find nothing demeaning in the word if you take it out of a context in which women should not, when all is well with the world, want sex.

    Sweetiepie, honeybunch, chick, etc. aren’t really sexual words.

    admin

    March 17, 2009 at 3:10 pm

  3. Then again, what is and is not sexual is so in the delivery and the eye of the beholder/recipient.

    No, I don’t think slut for a sub-guy is necessarily humiliation play at all.

    Slutty can be all warm and sweet and accepting. I don’t think it need be demeaning at all. All in the delivery and the eye of the beholder, no?

    advochasty

    March 18, 2009 at 11:12 am

  4. What other words do we have for a woman who does not need to be tricked into sex with the promise of love true love?

    It’s just a shame that the word isn’t simply “woman”.

    Under “sensualism” in my thesaurus, there is “libertine”, which would work quite well: “filthy little libertine”. This is also non gender-specific, so no chance of it being seen as a sexist slur.

    Also suggested as synonyms for “libertine” are “sexpot”, “floozy” and “vamp” (all the other words are ones that definitely carry implications similar to “slut”)

    SnowdropExplodes

    March 18, 2009 at 3:02 pm

  5. Porn is totally political, because sex is political.

    Also, “What other words do we have for a woman who does not need to be tricked into sex with the promise of love true love?

    It’s just a shame that the word isn’t simply “woman”.”

    I agree with the above.

    And- think you could write up something on how to be the sort of client pros like for a queer sex work zine I’m considering putting together..?

    Kitty

    March 28, 2009 at 4:15 pm


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