Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Butt ruffles

Who looks good in a baby doll? Seriously, I’m certain that someone does because this seems to be the most popular nightgown choice, but I just look like a doll, or pregnant, or something.

Last week I attempted to buy a nightgown. I assumed this would be an easy task given that all I wanted was a slinky black thing that went to about mid thigh — typical, right? Well my first shopping attempt yielded an array of babydolls apparently the item du jour at Victoria’s Secret. I then moved my search to Macy’s where I found two radically different options: 1) flannel pajamas or 2) stretchy mesh with butt ruffles. Butt ruffles? Do people wear this? Can anyone actually sleep in this? The Macy’s shop girl helpfully directed me to Saks, which was much like Macy’s only the flannel came in solid colors and the butt ruffles were more expensive.

Failing to find a night gown I decided to bring my favorite perfume on holiday and go traditional. However, this did get me thinking about the nature of sensuality in America. Much like charity, and healthy food, I prefer to have sensuality as part of my every day life, and find too often that it is a special event around here. What I want is quite simple unless you try to buy it in America — I want something sexy that is comfortable to wear, looks good on the way my body looks now not ten pounds lighter than now, and doesn’t require a special occasion. So why do we need special occasions to wear the things that make us feel good? Why are sexy and comfortable mutually exclusive concepts?

Written by kinkinexile

June 4, 2009 at 9:09 pm

Posted in fun stuff, personal

4 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. I read some of your posts and this one I felt I had to comment on. It’s true, sensuality in America is rare. Why? America is still in the WASP mindset of christian values and sex being bad. Most of america is still sex-closeted, and more than likely, in the closet themselves. But the new breed, the generation X and generation Y, the younger set, are coming in and slowly changing all that. States where the young (18-25) population outnumbers the old (35+), gay marriage is becoming legal while the opposite is true in states where the dynamic is drastically different. But I believe that being gay/bi/trans and sensuality (and sex too) will blossom in their own right soon enough.


    June 7, 2009 at 10:54 pm

  2. Hi TM. Thank you for your comment. Can you give me more details on the age to gay marriage correlation? I’ve not heard this before.


    June 8, 2009 at 11:44 pm

  3. Well, look at the states that have passed gay marriage: Iowa, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Massachusetts. What do these states all have in common? For the most part, they have smaller, younger populations. The younger the population, the more liberal it tends to be, especially if the age group is in the “experiment” ages, which are, in general, 11-25, high school/college years. In my experience, most people are extremely afraid to come out. But now with homosexuality coming into the mainstream, you see more people who normally would have had an adverse reaction reacting very calmly. Of course, there is still a vast majority of baby boomers (the still largest sector) who regard homosexuality as a fad, or, worse yet, a mortal sin. But this is becoming less and less the case. In what I have personally seen, living in a heavily hispanic (by far the most religious) metropolitan center (Miami), it’s about a 3 to 5 ratio, for every five people that come out to their families or elders, about three are accepted and their homosexuality embraced, while two out of the five face dire consequences. And that’s a major reason why, still, as thirty years ago, people are afraid to come out. They are afraid of what will happen. I came out as bisexual to my parents in 10th grade, and they were generally accepting. A little shocked, and like all parents, worried they wouldn’t be having grandchildren, but I was lucky enough to be in that three of five. And as it becomes more accepted, you see more of the older generation finally coming out. But closer to the topic, Iowa and the New England states had higher birth rates apparently, and currently have a boom in the younger generation. And with such a rise in a more educated younger generation comes a gradually more accepting older generation. But population/state size and other geopolitical factors come into play. All these states have populations around the size of, or smaller than, the city of New York, but spread out. So it’s much more difficult for the side opposing gay rights to get out there and voice and opposition, so the vote basically slides in for it, and the governor wants to be re-elected so he goes with the majority. There are many factors, but as soon as Vermont passes, and then New York and New Jersey. If those three states get it, then gay rights will sweep the nation, with the most opposition in the bible belt. But my opinion is civil unions for everyone, and leave marriage to the bigots.

    By the way, I found your blog through your profile. One of the rare people with true intelligence in this gods forsaken state it seems.


    June 10, 2009 at 11:32 pm

  4. TM, thank you for your response. Being a glutton for actual hard data I still want to see the population data by age for marriage states vs. anti-gay-marriage amendment states. Also, I have never heard the 3 out of 5 coming out statistic. Can you give me a reference for that? Please see my research for perves post if you’re wondering why I’m giving you so much hassle 🙂

    Also, keep in mind that you can just as easily correlate tolerance for homosexuality to socio-economic class as to age…

    And on a more alarming note (to me at least) I don’t have a profile…are you sure you’re not thinking of someone else?


    June 11, 2009 at 9:06 am

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: