Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Topping, training, and topping from the bottom

I was reading Submitting to Her and finding it comforting to hear other people go through the same things I’m currently spinning around in my head. I keep hearing this sentiment — from my boy, from other submissive men talking about their girlfriends, from bloggers — “I want her to be dominant” they write “I’ll do anything to please her.” And recently I’m hearing a lot of “I want to play like this not like that” and you know, I’m frustrated.

I feel like I am asked to play a walk-on part in someone’s fantasy, and yet I’m having a hard time defining dominance outside of those fantasy tropes. It’s not that I didn’t think dominance was work and planning and negotiation before, it’s not even that I’ve not seen it as a collaborative activity, but hearing what essentially boils down to “dominate me like this, not like that, and do it now” is rather shocking. It’s nice that you’re willing to let me train you as my sex slave, but what happens when I don’t wanna?

From my journal, the paper kind:
I thought I had found that elusive service oriented submissive who got off on serving me tea but that person doesn’t really exist. He may exist when you meet him, when you know nothing about each other and only see each other on good days, but after a while he has to go to work and so do you. It’s not his fault, it’s the same way he had to learn that the perfect always commanding domme who never had a headache doesn’t exist.

Written by kinkinexile

February 1, 2010 at 12:35 am

Posted in Uncategorized

%d bloggers like this: