Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Moments in time

I’ve been thinking recently, about the last decade. About 2005 and 2006 to be precise. About the particular moment in time when I was fully ensconced in the BDSM community, when my sex life and my social life intertwined, when I was young enough to stay up till sunrise rather than wake up to it. Last week I had the opportunity to play with an old friend, someone I knew from that period of my life, and it was…different. Or rather, it was more similar to my past than I am now and this is a good thing.

I feel, and have felt over the last few months, as though I’m waking up. Maybe that sleepy feeling was the influence of grad school or being deeply entrenched in a relationship, and yes, it is most certainly a part of growing up. I am immensely grateful for the opportunities I’ve had and the chances I’ve taken, but I am also tired. I want to go home, to dig my car out of the snow so I can drive it down familiar streets, rather than sit by a foreign poolside in 80* January weather. I want sex that is comfortably familiar, not in the way of a long term partner but in the way of a visiting fling with one of my first lovers – when on a recent trip to my home town he took me from “hello” to naked with easy practiced motions I recognized from my collage days.

I want deep but uncomplicated in that way that only happens when you’re 19, born and raised in the same city, rebelling against parents of similar values and belief systems.

I said my recent scene was more like my past than my present, but we both brought with us scars from the intervening years. This is not a bad thing; now I know enough to recognize how good I’ve got it.

Written by kinkinexile

August 21, 2011 at 5:18 am

Posted in exile, headspace

One Response

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  1. I want deep but uncomplicated in that way that only happens when you’re 19, born and raised in the same city, rebelling against parents of similar values and belief systems.

    Hm. I was never 19.

    maymay

    August 26, 2011 at 9:19 am


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