Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Bearing witness

As promised, I would like to compile a list of people and posts currently speaking to the inclusion and celebration of sexually submissive men. Please note that this list is incomplete by its very nature so if you’ve made a post or read a post that you find relevant please comment with a link. Posts are in no particular order and are minimally curated. While I would love to provide a fully curated annotated bibliography of work that speaks to the virtues of sexually submissive men, I am limited in resources and time. As always, see a good research librarian or sex educator with further questions. Maymay is one of the first sex bloggers I’ve read and a full time sexual freedom and anti-censorship activist. I don’t know if he single handedly started the revolution but he is a major contributor.

Male Submission Art Another site curated by Maymay and dedicated to the visual depiction of submissive men.

The devaluation of male submission by Delving into Deviance seems like one of the first posts on the subject by a dominant woman in the recent flurry of activity.

The Cost of Devaluing Male Submission: One Token from Lab Coats and Lingerie a deep dive into the impact of marginalizing male submission on dominant women, with a comment discussion as heated as the post itself. Also check out One of the Nineteen by the same blogger team.

Subtle Worship a blog of male submission imagery, poetry, and other information currated by Chaos

In Celebration of the Male Submissive a beautifully written and inspiring piece by Galiana Chance, a nice place to pause and find the beauty in the pain if the previous links were making you cry.

The Value of a Male Submissive by Kitty Stryker is a response to Maymay, mentioned above, and speaks both to the specific and the general vis-a-vis the worth and value of submissive men.  Less of an academic piece, but a very heartfelt account.

Index and Overview of the Subguys’ Interviews. is a collection of interviews conducted by DishevelledDomina with submissive men.  Link contains brief description of each interview subject and researcher’s interest in the subject along with subsequent interview links.

Devoted and Devalued a post by John, a self-described submissive man, which is a voice I’ve found strangely missing from this dialogue.
Thank you Maymay for your help with gathering and editing this content!

Written by kinkinexile

September 3, 2011 at 1:56 am

Posted in blogging, Blogroll, memories

18 Responses

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  1. Wow! Fantastic!

    As for your comment about John’s post, I’m glad he wrote it as well. Maymay is clearly a strong voice for the submissive male, and in the comment threads I’ve read, there seem to be a good number of other male subs joining in the conversation as well, but I would love to hear / read more too.

    I hope to see more from fem doms and male subs on this topic, and if I find more, I will certainly let you know.

    This is a treasure. Thank you SO very much!

    Galiana Chance

    September 3, 2011 at 2:06 am

  2. Thank you Maymay for your help with gathering and editing this content!

    🙂 It is my privilege to be able to do so.


    September 3, 2011 at 2:08 am

  3. […] we need a respite, let’s celebrate the small victory of this burgeoning conversation. And, then, keep going. ← Scaling the walls of FetLife’s walled garden (with new […]

  4. Galiana, thank you for sharing. I think I need a nap before I can do any more reading. Though this has been fantastic I really wish I could hand this off to a digital archivist – it just seems so important to capture and I feel so unprepared.


    September 3, 2011 at 2:35 am

    • FYI: we do have an archivist, but he’s working crazy hours this week, so it’ll be a bit before he gets you updates. But don’t worry, it’s off your plate.

      Galiana Chance

      September 5, 2011 at 12:47 am

  5. I may have an archivist available to help, to keep handing you updates that you won’t have to think about.

    You nap. You deserve it.

    Galiana Chance

    September 3, 2011 at 3:03 am

  6. ooh, an archivist? Shiny! Tell me more?

    Oh, and also I am totally interested in adding to this post…that comment was made after 3 hours of sleep, and interview, and a day of wandering about Palo Alto when I really should have been sleeping 🙂


    September 5, 2011 at 5:13 am

    • He’s a person who likes my blog, and has offered to help me out if I need web help. I showed him this blog post of yours, and he said he will be happy to do the needed scrounging-around-the-web, after his days clear up a bit (hopefully some time in the next week).

      Wandering around Palo Alto has many merits in terms of refreshing your brain.

      Also, yay for you using the word “shiny”

      I’ll tell him to get in touch with you when he’s ready to report for duty, so if you want to do more adding, feel free, of course (duh, it’s your blog :D)

      Galiana Chance

      September 5, 2011 at 5:58 am

  7. Hello!

    This is the archivist that Galiana was talking about. Apologies for taking so long to respond here, my job (Navy) had me running around like a chicken with my head cut off for a while here and I just got settled back in.

    My email is steven (underscore) merrick (atrate) hotmail (dot) com, if you’d like to go into detail with what you’re looking for and where I can send you what I find. 🙂


    Steven M

    September 15, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    • Hi Steven,

      Thanks for much for volunteering. I’ll go ahead and send you email once I dig myself out of my present all technology failing black hole, but in the mean time, hi, welcome, and thank you for offering to help. In a general sense I need someone to continue compiling annotated bibliographies of blog posts and other resources that represent a non-pornagraphic view of make submission. In specific I would like to see more male voices joining the dialog as well as posts that touch on e duality of real life roles and play.


      September 17, 2011 at 4:52 pm

  8. […] PurrVersatility, help Alisa research to fill in the blanks of her archiving efforts at KinkInExile, encourage Tomio to keep writing, and pathetically attempt to keep up with all the insights and […]

  9. […] PurrVersatility, help Alisa research to fill in the blanks of her archiving efforts at KinkInExile, encourage Tomio to keep writing, and pathetically attempt to keep up with all the insights and […]

  10. […] First it means that if you have a research or sex history question, or you want something archived I’d be happy to help.  It also means that in most conversations about sex I wouldn’t know the […]

  11. […] I do write my anger I make it about others.  And then I wonder why dominant women are having a circle jerk on the internet about the need for safe spaces for submissive men, and where all the submissive men […]

  12. […] is coming from several places, and probably the easiest place to bookmark them is with Kink in Exile. There are several blog posts going up that deal with the way malesubs are viewed. The thrust of […]

  13. […] saw so many others agree and I felt some glimmer of hope, because it added more male voices to the conversation – but it also made me deeply sad.  It made me sad because it reminded me of how much the people […]

  14. […] until August of 2011.  2011 is also when I started keeping tumblrs and when I started noticing a conversation emerging about the treatment of sexually submissive men in the kink scene.  Beyond images, the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012 also welcomed a pair of […]

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