Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Sunday round-up again

Friday night I went to the Amanda Palmer and Neil Gainman show with the lovely Censorydep.  Utterly amazing show, and thank you so much Censorydep for the invite.  Also, I finally got to appease my sushi craving…YAY!

After the show I invaded maymay‘s home for some much needed brain-dumping.  I love my friends precisely because they do not call me insane when I am sitting on their bedroom floor working out survey structure at 4 in the morning…there was no grumpy cajoling to go to bed.  In fact, I haven’t felt this loved for my insistent nerdiness in a very very long time.  Thanks, beautiful.

Saturday started with so-so coffee and pretty decent french toast from a Nob Hill diner accompanied by sleepy cuddles, and later disappeared into some naval gazing and trying to identify what triggers feelings of being wanted in a relationship for me, only to be capped off with a housewarming for my ex and a late dinner with a man about whom I can safely say that if we were having more sex with each other we’d be married by now.  (I think we decided to declare ourselves primaries and go join the asexual community on Saturday night, but many a Manhattan were involved in that decision.)

Having felt like I missed most of Saturday, I really wanted to spend Sunday alone.  I had to make a social visit in the morning, which turned out to be lovely, but I have to say that if you’ve only every gone visiting in American homes, where required etiquette is more or less confined to saying “what a lovely party, thank you so much for having me in your home” you’re missing out.  Russian and Iranian visiting is way way more intricate a dance…I came prepared with a cake and a small rose bush for the 10am coffee date and was greeted with true Iranian style meaning a full table of amazing food, an immaculate house, and an entire family making the time to sit with me for the visit.  And this was pretty casual given our cultural backgrounds.

The rest of my day went from a completely unplanned day of alone time to two more social visits which were both lovely, but left me feeling as though I haven’t seen the inside of my own brain all weekend.  So now I’m hanging out with a glass of wine and some blog posts…

First this note from maymay about Wisconsin Governor Walker being mic checked at a formal breakfast.  Both to the Wisconsin incident, and to May’s note about Mayor Quan I say hell to the yeah!

I also got a chance to read this handbook for dating a nerd from Rands in Repose.  I like Rands’ blog but I’m not sure how I feel about this particular post.  Most of it is stuff I’ve seen around the internets or in women’s magazines around the time of bubble 1.0, and while it’s probably not untrue, it doesn’t feel new.  Also, why is the nerd always a guy?  Anyway, Rands redeems himself with awesome business articles as always.

From the Edge of Vanilla comes a post about the impact of orgasm control on the controlling female partner, cool (and thanks for the link May)!  I remember thinking a long while back that I’d have a hard time playing with orgasm control because I really like watching my partners get off…and then I realized that watching them beg and then get off is even hotter, but it was (and continues to be) a testing my own limits kind of thing.  Also, I’d like to hear more about how people get over the fear of “are you just going to think I’m being a jerk if I say no?”

And thinking of orgasm control I am delighted to see several new posts from Thumper, which I intend to curl up with a little bit later in the evening, or perhaps during tomorrow’s commute.

I also found a couple of posts by a blogger I’d never seen before, AdventuroticaThis, about “why don’t you just make your own porn.” being a copout, and then this other post about the problems inherent in femdom porn (namely the lack of images of men being submissive).

I’m sure there are more awesome posts I didn’t have time to catch up on this weekend, but then the theme of this weekend is oh hey look I’m an introvert and way too busy for my own good.




Written by kinkinexile

November 6, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Posted in blogging, headspace

One Response

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  1. Wow, that’s a really narrow – and dated, in the other sense of the word – conception of “nerd” in the dating post. I’ve never heard “nerd” used to be that computer-specific; that’d be “geek” – and it’s been literally decades since all (hardcore computer) geeks knew hardware as intimately as that implies. I couldn’t do more than skim the article (way too much What All Nerds Are Like universalizing), but it looks to me like even the parts that are, or could be, true enough to be useful are couched in excessively narrow terms.

    Thanks for the pointer to the older Adventurotica post – I’d only just run across her myself (via a link to the “why ‘make your own’ is a copout” post; I don’t recall where but I suspect I found it the same place you did), and hadn’t read back that far. I’m intrigued that she pointed to something similar to the thoughts I’d had on your previous post – it was a new line of thought and I was feeling kind of “is it just me?” about it, so nice to know it’s not just me.



    November 7, 2011 at 6:39 pm

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