Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Weekend in a nutshell

First a PSA: having just had my annual GYN exam I’d like to remind the ladies in the audience that no one has to die of cervical cancer!  Get a pap every year, and while you’re at it get a breast exam. I know it sounds like a hassle but I was in and out in under a half hour.  Uninsured in California? Check out FamilyPACT for free reproductive healthcare.

Alright, back to weekend…this one was a mix of mellow and busy.  Friday night platonic husband made me an amazing dinner (damn the man can cook!) fed me tasty drinks and indulged my want to disapprovingly watch lewd humor on the television.  He keeps grumbling about the insane headache inducing complexity of dating in the bay area but I am finally learning to embrace it…hell how do you not embrace a system that involves steak and a man who fusses for hours to cook for you and then breaks down the components of his favorite Mozart piece for your benefit?

Saturday caught up with some old friends, made new friends,  and had a generally relaxed if not at all productive day.  Oh, but I went to Nordic House and filled my fridge with tasty Nordic groceries.  So very much for the win.

Sunday is passing in similarly mellow style.  Wrote over a waffle and latte at a cafe that suspends wifi on weekend this morning…I get the idea and all,but forced socialization is just too nanny state-ish for my liking.  Decent waffle, but I don’t expect to be back.  Then met up with a lovely play partner of mine to check out a rope bondage class in a delightful new-to-me play space, where I certainly hope to return to.  And now I am lounging around enjoying the end of the weekend and trying to figure out how to integrate attachment points into my bedroom without constantly hitting my head on eye hooks.

Stuff I’m reading that you can too:

First this article about the power of words from Love from the Asexual Underground had been on my to read list for a week now.  I’m sad to say it is still unread by me, but now I can put it on this list and find it again on my morning commute.

Then, Femdom and Fulfillment from Adventurotica demands to know “What about men who don’t want to be humiliated or made to feel ashamed, men who don’t want their dominant partner to be icy and remote and sexless, but want a woman who is hard and hot and lustful, who will hurt them until they cry not because they are worthless, but because they are so goddamn precious…” Hell to the yeah sister, what about them, where are they, and can we please, for the love of god, issue each of those men a microphone? And thank you so very, very much for bringing a voice of reality and reason to the female dominance side of the equation.

Adventurotica is also good enough to explain “The popular image of female dominance is just taking the shitty, shitty power imbalances caused by sexism and inverting them in order to reenact them.” Having recently discovered that gender role reversal is freaking hot, I am now trying to sort out how to explain my “Leave it to Beaver” fantasy life while fully supporting a move away from gendered relationship roles.  It just makes sooo much sense in my head, why can’t you all just read my mind?!

I’ve been virtually following Galiana’s time settling into her new home, and spending real-world time with Fizz as I wait for more amazing writing to come out from Lab Coats and Lingerie *hint hint*

I am also just starting to read Clarisse Thorn’s blog, and if you haven’t seen her two part series on BDSM vs. Sex, it’s a nice intro to the political and personal sides of the issue.  I particularly like this concept:

Although Part 1 was all about how the divide between “BDSM” and “sex” is often nonsensical, or purely political, or socially constructed … that doesn’t mean that the divide does not exist. I once had a conversation about ignoring social constructs with a wise friend, who noted dryly that: “One-way streets are a social construct. That doesn’t mean we should ignore them.”

Gender roles, domism, and the hanky code are all made up things.  They are things we collectively agreed to believe in and/or were taught to believe in.  They are in the strange space of real but not real, or to put it in more concrete terms, all beliefs are true in their consequence.  They may stop existing if we stopped believing in them, but I suspect the lag time would be painful, so lets address them head on.

Finally, from Dishevelled Domina, a note about approaching dominant women...and I have to say, she’s got a hell of a lot more patience than I do from the sound of it, so please, for the love of god, don’t start conversations with “I can’t wait to serve you, mistress.” even if you are talking to the last dominant woman on earth!

That’s it folks, good luck with your respective Mondays.

Oh, wait, one more piece of utter hotness to cap off your, and my, weekend: A few of Disheveled Domina’s favorite things, and I’ll admit, mine as well.

Written by kinkinexile

November 13, 2011 at 7:37 pm

3 Responses

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  1. I feel all blog famous now.
    Off to follow your other links and try to start my week out right.


    November 13, 2011 at 10:19 pm

  2. […] hours), laptop (for blog posts, email, Twitter, and catching up on others’ sexy blogs, like Kink In Exile who mentioned me this weekend – awww thanks Alisa!), sex toys (they’re in here, but not […]

    » Lingerie Bar

    November 16, 2011 at 3:23 am

  3. […] hours), laptop (for blog posts, email, Twitter, and catching up on others’ sexy blogs, like Kink In Exile who mentioned me this weekend – awww thanks Alisa!), sex toys (they’re in here, but not […]

    Lingerie Bar » Chance It

    November 16, 2011 at 3:57 am

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