Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Orgasm control through trial and error – haven’t lost the key yet….


…but I have been thinking a lot, prompted by questions from my partner about how I feel about this whole orgasm control with props thing.

Tools
First, I think it’s kind of important to note that a CB6000 does not orgasm control make.  Its a tool, a pretty nifty one, but it’s just a tool that is useful to enforce or encode control that already exists.  I guess I kind of expected that this thing would give me more control, I don’t know why I expected that…maybe too much porn or something, but in any case it didn’t.  What it did do was create a physical and persistent representation of my control.  Importantly, control that was already there.  This is way too grandiose an example but I can’t think of another one just now: it’s like your wedding ring doesn’t make you married, but it does consistently remind you that you’re married, and that probably feels nice.  So, be confidant in your control first, then add tools….at least if you’re me.

Artifacts
There are three physical artifacts that I can see: the CB itself, the lock, and the key.  Of these my primary interaction is with the key, my parter’s is with the CB and we both interact with the lock. This is important if you’re thinking of orgasm control in ritual design terms not just utility.  I wasn’t really planning or thinking around ritual design so this was kind of surprising to me, but, if you’re moving past pure utility you can imbue these artifacts with some kind of meaning (or I suppose if you don’t they might make their own meaning). From my perspective the key is something I could just leave on my desk but because it’s the artifact with which I interact most I actually want to have it with me…it makes me smile when I remember that it’s there and it reminds me that I have a secret without otherwise intruding on my day.  I also really like the look of the CB on my partner. I believe the words I used were “it looks like property.” Which is true, for me it is really hot to see something on my partner’s body that is locked away…even he doesn’t have access to it because it belongs to me.  What surprises me about this though is how matter of fact that feeling is.  I like it.  It’s pretty.  I like seeing it and it makes me smile but it doesn’t give me the same kind of hard guttural D/s rush as some other things I do.  These orgasms belong to me, they’re important enough to me to keep under lock and key, but the ownership itself feels matter of fact – strangely, this makes it hotter.

Empathy
If you’ve never slept next to someone whose locked up in one of these devices…well let’s just say its a great deep empathy experience.  It makes you realize just how much of your partner’s life shift slightly to adjust to this new experience. Try it on a day you don’t have to be up early the next day. Just saying.

Path to impact
And one last bit that I thought was cool enough to get its own section is just how much this threads through your partner’s life, the little adjustments they end up making, how often they get up at night, how they shower, how they pee….I find this really really cool.  It accomplishes my goal of integrating a thread of control into daily life without making constant demands.  

Written by kinkinexile

March 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm

One Response

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  1. For a number of reasons that I don’t know exactly how to articulate, it was really nice for me to be able to read this. 🙂 Thanks for posting it.

    thirdxlucky

    March 18, 2012 at 11:11 pm


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