Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Skinny cis white woman, apparently the biggest threat to justice since sliced bread

“Performer line up: skinny white carbon copy clones.”

“Is it really 100% skinny femme women…?”

Before I get into the political aspects of this, here is something personal: those words describe me, my body, and your hatred or distrust of it. They describe a political arena where my body is a threat to your movement and unwelcome in your space.

No, don’t tell me that’s not directed at me, I’m sure you’re not like all the other XYZ people either. And yes, I know, I carry centuries of privilege and power in my body that you have been systematically stripped of, but tell me, does alienating me because of my body work?

Does it help us create enough shared power to fight words such as these: “You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.” No, maybe it makes you feel better, but it makes me think twice about working with you, and it makes me wonder how such similar words could be coming from such opposing sides.

Here are some things going on in the world:
• 1,500 people die in conflicts in the Congo daily, including child soldiers.
• One in six Americans experiences “food insecurity.”
• A transgendered woman was killed in my neighborhood, not a decade ago but last month.
• Republicans are speaking about birth control as though it was up for debate.
• Closed subpoenas are levied against social networks we use daily to collect levels of information we could not have imagined a decade ago.

So basically, our world is fucked, our political system is fucked, and the biggest concern you have is my body? When the computer you are using to watch this insufficiently progressive porn is made with conflict minerals that fuel colonialism and poverty and there are no other viable options (for computing, though maybe also for porn) you decide to rage against some fellow activist or artist because their progressive work is not progressive enough?

When we’re so good at fighting each other is it any wonder that the religious right is winning?

So yes, it breaks my heart that my lover’s submission is treated as deviant or dismissed altogether because of his gender, it terrifies me (and humbles me) to know that one of my loves navigates the world…cautiously because of their gender, and I wholeheartedly believe that you and I both should have the kind of pornography available to us that makes us feel good, even if the images we prefer are radically different. And yet, holding all that as truth, if your political agenda includes shaming me or discrediting me for my body and the sex I have, I have no more desire to participate in that than in a Rick Santorum rally.

Written by kinkinexile

May 28, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Posted in headspace, politics

2 Responses

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  1. I really wish my friend Matthew were more of an Internet person, because he’s been saying some really insightful stuff lately about how misrepresentations of women are used in pop culture…and there’s a piece of the point you’re making here about the System’s divide-and-conquer tactics specifically as they relate to women’s bodies, and a piece of stuff Maymay’s been saying about the ubiquitous compulsory hypersexualization of culture, and a piece of the thing I’ve been saying about the relationship between social justice and ego destruction…and when you put them all together they make this really powerful picture that I just don’t have the brainpower to try and articulate right now. But maybe over a beer when we’re all in the same city? In short: Yes. The point you’re making here is incredibly important. Thanks for writing this.


    May 28, 2012 at 4:01 pm

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