Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

What if he really thought he was a pirate?

This morning a friend shared an interesting email they received through a BDSM related site.  It read in part:

There are only two kinds of people in this world, those who were blessed with a cock, and those who weren’t. Males are responsible for fucking females; females are responsible for allowing themselves to get fucked.

So for a long time I’ve explained more delicate, gray area, kinks by likening them to a pirate role-play.   I might want to be a captured pirate wench, I might even want to be a captured pirate wench for a whole weekend, or every 2nd weekend of the month.  I might be totally into how amazingly realistic your pirate impression is.  However, if you still think you’re a pirate when you go to work on Monday we have a problem.  If one or both of us suffer scurvy, we have a problem.  If you still think I’m a captured wench over tea with my family, we have a problem.

Your 24/7 Gor inspired fantasy is no different.  If it turns you on, if it makes your partner wet or hard or both, awesome.  But if you are incapable of differentiating between your really hot fantasy and socio-political reality, you’ve got a problem.  If you think your sexual fantasy should be lived out by the entire country, you might be Fred Phelps.

The alarming thing is that the person who wrote my friend that email was incapable of making a distinction between sexual fantasy and social reality.  He applied his fantasy not to his sexual partners but to the world at large.  And what should make everyone who participates in the socio-sexual space of kink community outraged, terrified, or both is that we have created a space where this person can hide his psychosis beneath a thin layer of co-created fantasy.  You and I will walk into work on Monday as multidimensional people who had an awesome pirate role-play over the weekend; he will walk in as a one-eyed pirate.

Would you still talk to him at that party if you knew he thought he was really a pirate?

Written by kinkinexile

September 30, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. This is probably the most disturbing side of the BDSM “scene.” For someone who starts out ready to join the line to the crazy train, it can look like an express ticket of “yeah, this stuff is totally cool.”

    But the same thing is true for a lot of things. Sarah Palin can put a target on Congresswoman Gabby Giffords Congressional district and we all understand it’s not mean as a suggestion to shoot her. Except for the one guy who is already thinking that it might be a good thing to do.

    I’ve had a couple of people become really offended because they totally misconstrued something intended as ironic as being serious. Speech is a funny thing, in some ways.

    To answer your question, I’d probably talk to the guy if I ran into him, but I’d look for ways to keep our “running into each other” to a minimum.

    Tomio Hall-Black

    October 1, 2012 at 8:45 am

  2. I think this is so smart, such a pithy way to describe an enduring and insidious issue. Super appreciative!

    Alana lee

    November 3, 2012 at 8:28 pm


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