Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

A purely personal state of being

I told myself I was going to make a conscious effort to spend less time with the BDSM community, which I was starting to find toxic, but it turns out effort was unneeded.  It turns out that once I had committed to my intention of spending my time on things that nurture me rather than those that vex me, new communities and patterns began to emerge.
I took a vacation and saw a part of the country I’d never seen before.  I camped, and hiked, and camped, and realized I like nature.

I dove head first into everything I could find on urban homesteading, learned that a former classmate is blazing the path of tech-meets-earth for me to follow (she’s a senior engineer for a defense contractor and an urban chicken farmer)

I signed up for rabbit butchering class and olive brining class.  I put a canning party on my calendar and discovered my friends are really into pickled goods.  (Some of them anyway.)

I’m putting the computer away one day a week to be a little more aware of how it shapes and reshapes my body.

And then some things I didn’t expect happened too…I experienced my own gender as a constructed, reactive thing.  I experienced gender as a class artifact for the first time as well – sitting with a partner expressing working-class masculinity while unable or unwilling to provide a working class feminine mirror.  And I talked about this with women for whom working class is a learned stance, and for whom womanhood is a learned stance, and I realized there is a whole world of performative gender I was unaware of in relationship to myself.  A whole world beyond my standard binary of “treat me like an engineer not like a female.” And that was cool.  And hard.  And cool.

So yeah, I’m pretty excited to be on this adventure.


Written by kinkinexile

October 1, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Posted in headspace

2 Responses

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  1. Huh. Cool. 🙂


    October 1, 2012 at 9:39 pm

  2. Plummeting headlong into the present… 😉



    October 5, 2012 at 4:41 pm

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