Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad


After my last post, Stillness and Fantasy, I resolved to spend more time doing things that were pleasurable to me: fantasizing, exercising, making time to masturbate not at bed time when I was too tired.  The whole point was to try to find that spot inside of me that can get over just how fucking much I hate the BDSM scene enough to enjoy the sex I want with the people I love behind closed doors.

It was very clear to me from the get go that this couldn’t be about sex with other people…you see, sex with other people was *a thing.* I wanted it too much with one partner and felt like I had a quota to meet and if he was half an hour late I’d miss my deadline.  With another partner I wasn’t interested at all and any of my attempts to talk myself into being interested were met with either uncertainty or so much expectation (are you fixed yet?) that it just wasn’t gonna work.  Besides, sex with other people was hard, sex alone felt awesome – why not start with your strong points?

So I tried to do better with things that made me feel good in and around my body and pretty much let other people fend for themselves.  It worked great.  Well, it worked great for me in that my sex drive is back, my yoga practice is back, and my hair looks amazing! It also worked in that I am entertaining fantasies without connecting them back to the BDSM scene which is what had been happening for me for a while.  But, um, I sure am entertaining a lot of fantasies…

Like how I imagine his tongue wrapped around the toe of the new boots I just bought today.  Or maybe the one about texting him on my way back from work and telling him he can masturbate until I get home (and of course he hasn’t been allowed to so he’ll be more than happy to take the chance).  In that one I come in and find him on the bed – he blushes even though I’m not the least bit surprised as I hang my blazer over the back of a chair and walk up to him slowly.  He pauses, not sure if he should go on or if this special treat was time-bounded by my commute.  I’d solve this problem for him by lightly trapping his wrists and pulling them over his head, pinning his hands to the wall while I traced patterns on his body with my other hand…

Or maybe there’s the actual shiny for which I named this post: this penis plug which Ruffled Sheets so kindly reviewed.  I’ve never played with urethral sounds and one of the things I’d like to do is play in ways that are new to me…I want to be in an exploratory space – I miss the slow newness of it.  What I really want to do is play with chastity devices that have a urethral sound built in, but this looks like a good place to start.  Want. The. Shiny.

Written by kinkinexile

February 13, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Posted in headspace

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