Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

How to get your boyfriend into a chastity device…

This is one of the most common search hits I get so I figured perhaps I should answer the question.  So, dear reader, how to get your boyfriend into a chastity device…

The non-physical stuff:

I’m going to assume that you can’t simply tie your boyfriend up, gag any protests, and lock up his cock if you expect to still have a boyfriend shortly there after.  If this is not the case, I have no idea why you’re reading my blog, but does your bloke have any like-minded friends, and when might I meet them?

For the rest of us, by hook or by crook, we have to convince our partners…

So, how do you convince your boyfriend that it’s a good idea to put something somewhat bulky and a little uncomfortable on his cock for your amusement?  Good question.  I actually have email threads with Maymay dating back to 2009 when I was trying to figure out just how to introduce orgasm control to my then partner.  I honestly still don’t know how to broach the topic.  If an appeal to frugality has failed (think of the money you’ll save on condoms!) and you can’t make a good case for the CB6000 as a fashionable addition to his biking ensemble, consider what you really want out of having your partner wear this thing and then tell him so.  Does the idea of seeing it on him turn you on?  Is there an element of power exchange you find appealing?  Do you like the fact that you think of him more as you try not to drop the key in the elevator shaft?  Basically, my advice for chastity is like my advice for everything else: talk to your partner.  If all else fails, an enthusiastic “FOR SCIENCE” has been doing wonders for my love life for years.

The physical stuff:

I actually had the good fortune to start using chastity devices with an enthusiastic and experienced partner (for science!).  I’ve only ever played with the CB6000 and the ClubFem MCD, the latter of which I’d categorize as a very temporary play device more than a chastity device.  I’ve handled other devices, but with the exception of ones that include urethral sounds (currently beyond my scope of practice) I haven’t been too interested in other options.  You can find tips and tricks for the CB6000 here from maymay and over here from thumper.

The CB6000 is a “trapped ball device,” which is just a fancy way of saying it stays on by hanging on to the testicles as opposed to, say, a chastity belt which might have a belt that goes around the hips.  The CB6000 website has a flash demo of assembly, but for whatever reason doesn’t include a penis in the assembly instructions.  So, if you’d like to flow along here, what’s actually happening is as follows:

  1. Take the big ring object (actually 3/4 of a ring) and slip it on behind the testicles so the open part is on top where your bloke’s penis meets the rest of his body.
  2. Find the small curved puzzle piece that fits into the remaining space to complete the ring from behind (note that there are two plastic pieces of the same size but the groves are inverse so you can tell which way to put them on).
  3. Go ahead and put the two short pins in and line up/connect that back piece
  4. Set up it’s mirror image on the other side of the big ring piece so you now have a complete circle.  The correct order is pelvis -> plastic thing -> testicles -> penis and outside world.  You can also put the longer of the 3 pins through the middle hole at the top of your plastic circle now.  And this a good time to see if you’ve accidentally trapped any pubic hair and try to shift things around to release that.
  5. Learn to juggle, you’re gonna need it.
  6. Put the spacer on, that’s the little plastic widget that fits over the middle pin.  Try to hold it in place while you do everything else.  Have it fall off a few times.  Try not to get flustered.  Get flustered anyway. Put it back on and see if you can get a hand from your partner in keeping it on.
  7. Find some way to lubricate your cage.  My favorite methodology thus far has been lots of liquid soap or body wash cause it’ll wash out easily later (see maymay’s post for how to wash stuff out of the CB6000).  You can also use a nice hypoallergenic body oil or lube.
  8. Slip the penis into the cage, where by “slip” I mean “shove in forcefully.” I’m sure this is an individual thing, but I’ve realized from this process that penises are less fragile than I imagine them to be.  Gent’s, if your partner is new to this what’s gonna happen is she’s gonna start putting it on, meet resistance, and stop because penises are fragile things.  If you want this process to succeed, some well placed “you’ve got it” “that feels fine, go ahead” and various other encouragement would be great right about now.  ladies, target fixation is your friend here, push the cage from a little below his pelvis up toward his body aiming the holes at the top edge of the cage onto the pins you’ve inserted into the ring.
  9. Ok, now you think you’ve got everything on, you got the penis in the cage while holding onto the spacer and aligning the holes on the upper rim of the cage with the protruding pins from the ring and it’s time to lock things up…for some reason this is always a tight fit to get the pin through enough to fit the lock in.  I usually have my partner hold the ring and cage together so I can finish up without getting flustered, and for his part, he usually has the good sense to allow as to how he also wishes he had 4 hands when doing this himself to help me not get flustered.
  10. Lock, rinse out whatever lube you used, and you’re done.

Probably the most important thing I can add to the flash demo on the CB6000 website is: don’t worry, it’s an awkward process, you’re not doing it wrong you just have to be a little more patient and a little more forceful than you expect.




Written by kinkinexile

March 3, 2013 at 11:04 am

Posted in advice, Orgasm Control

3 Responses

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  1. Thanks for the tips. We’re just about to start experimenting with a cage, so I think they might be useful 🙂

    Aphrodite Priestess

    May 20, 2014 at 2:11 am

  2. I wear the CB-6000 but my wife isn’t interested in participating. We live apart during the week so she’s a bit receptive to taking the keys Monday morning and returning them to me Friday afternoon. I’m hoping she forgets them and gets to see what a weekend with me locked up is like. I realize there’s no magic way to get someone else interested in a personal kink but all ideas are welcome.


    May 27, 2014 at 4:24 am

    • Hi Red. Sooooo, marriage is all about compromise, but you’re not /really/ asking for ideas to get your wife to do something she doesn’t think is fun, right? Here’s my biggest pet peeve, you can decide if it applies: “I want to be submissive how do I make my wife/girlfriend/dog/boss top me?!” The kink is valid and awesome, trying to talk someone who isn’t interested into it isn’t. So you do exactly what I imagine you did, talk to your wife like a real human being, explain the interest, see if she will do it because she loves you and wants to do nice things for you, and respect the fuck out of her limits. Don’t nudge in that inch/mile way because women’s sexuality is constantly under other people’s demands anyway and it sucks.


      June 9, 2014 at 7:30 pm

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