Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Still not packed…

I should have been packing, but instead I caught up on some blogs I used to read but haven’t recently.  I read Fern’s thoughts on vulnerability, and because of that watched Amanda Palmer’s TED talk on asking, which was beautiful.
And I thought about how something I thought was anger is really a loss of trust…and about how I have as little clue about what to do with that as I do with anger (at someone I care about).

And unrelatedly, I have this niggling worry…Ferns writes “I am like a lawyer in my approach to D/s in that I never ask for something unless I know the answer already.” And I wonder, how many times have I been dead wrong? How many times have I gotten lost in a grey space or pushed a complicated yes when I should have seen it for what it was?

Anyway, life is a bit complicated at the moment, but it’s also quite amazingly lovely.  I’m feeling grounded and balanced in a way that works really well for me, and it turns out that remembering to live on lifetime scale, rather than project scale, helps a lot.

Written by kinkinexile

June 24, 2013 at 11:52 pm

Posted in headspace

One Response

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  1. It is so true. Presently I believe I’m experiencing the same scenerio. I’m emotionally hurt & heartbroken and yet I feel no anger. I beleive it all boils down to Trust. For me that’s a Major Game Playe in a relationsip. Life is always complicated and until a week ago I felt happy, grounded, and centered. I have been an emotional mess. The crying jags are an unfamiliar emotion, and I have never felt so unbalanced, and emtionally depressed. I wonder if I’m having a sort of breakdown. I have had 2 appointments that I did not even call to cancel. My eyes are so swollen I certainly can’t go to the market. I feel so RAW the feeling is unbearable. I know time will heal, I just have to go through this process to learn what was meant to be.


    July 16, 2013 at 2:17 pm

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