Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Huh, now what?

I don’t know what to do with this blog.  I guess that’s what befell many of the blogs I used to read – the owners moved on.

I started this blog in 2007 with some very specific intentions, but also because blogs, and especially sex blogs, were new back then.  It was exciting and liberating.  Because it was part of this strange cross-section of people who were sex positive and into kink and people who were comfortable on the internet, it felt like home. But it’s stopped feeling like home.  In part because kink stopped feeling like home, and in part because the internet just doesn’t hold the promise of freedom and connection it had when I was younger.

Over the last six year I’ve used this blog to connect, explore my sexuality, redefine my relationship with kink, and give voice to some really huge failings of the BDSM scene.  But recently, when I sent a link to my glossary post to a new friend, I felt self conscious.  I’m a person, not a piece of software; how much documentation do I really need?

I guess I don’t know what to use this space for.  To tell you that I think the BDSM scene is rapey, outdated, boomerish and not worth saving?  There’s only so many ways to say that.  To give chastity and orgasm denial tips?  Maybe when I have a partner I’m doing that with again, but that’s sort of a paired activity.  To inform the world at large that I’m finding poly and most especially “radically non-monogamous” folks seriously annoying because I keep seeing them fail to treat their partners as human beings deserving of respect?  That just pisses me off in ways that are completely unnecessary.  Besides, bad poly is just one of many ways one can utterly mistreat and disregard a partner.

So yeah, I keep feeling like I want to write, but having no idea what to write.

Maybe it’s that I want to do something utterly radical.  I want to have sex, just the way I like it, with someone I care about, behind closed doors.  And then, then I want to not go to a meeting about it, or read a book about how I did or did not do it wrong, or even post about it.

I guess we’ll see how that goes 🙂

Written by kinkinexile

September 10, 2013 at 12:01 am

Posted in headspace

One Response

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  1. “‘Nobody reads your fucking blog’ – T-shirt print” never, ever applied.


    September 10, 2013 at 11:51 pm

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