Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Archive for the ‘advice’ Category

Fuck yeah!

Never, ever assume you need permission from a dominant person to speak to a submissive person.

Maymay says it in far more words, but at the end of the day, yeah, that, freaking that! Also…

  • Don’t assume someone who is not part of your power dynamic will know about your power dynamic
  • Don’t assume someone who is not part of your power dynamic will want to participate in your power dynamic
  • Don’t assume someone who is not part of your power dynamic will give a rat’s ass about your power dynamic

Frankly, yeah, I’ve got nothing.  I don’t want my kids praying to your god in school, and I don’t want to be involved in your sex life when I’m trying to make conversation about the weather, chalk it up to my libertarian ethic, or, you know, being an adult in tune with reality.

Written by kinkinexile

July 16, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Posted in advice, community

Not married…

This is a draft I had completely forgotten about but just found thanks to a usability update to the WordPress dashboard…

Jezebel, my guilty commute pleasure, just ran a short article on ten realistic reasons you’re not married as a response to yet another “all the things you need to change to become Mrs. Right” self help book.  Their reasons are, well, reasonable. They are not unlike the reasons I’m not married.

But first a thought about self help books, ones like Marry Him: the case for Mr. Good Enough, and Find a Husband After 35 With What I learned in Harvard Business School – they work. They work if your goal is to be married because there is an easy middle of the road kind of girl that fits well with easy middle of the road kind of American boys. And there are a lot of middle of the road red blooded American boys and if you fit the bill, they will marry you.  Or they work because Harvard Business School prepares you to sell just about anything. Perhaps most importantly, they work because they make you the kind of person American boys *think* they should marry; that image is a generation behind anyone’s reality, and I think this is the case in every generation, but that’s why it’s a fantasy. Perfect doesn’t exist, but you can pretend – you can pretend in your dreams, in fiction, or, for a time, you can carefully curate your life and pretend that way.

Here is the catch, your top goal has to be to become married, that is the goal these books help you achieve.

Now the personal part: I say the yet is applicable because when I think about my future I think about very tight intimate networks and I think about resource sharing in a sustainable and ongoing basis.  I think about kids (ok, mostly I think about being pregnant and wish someone would take away the infant and bring back a teenager some time later).  I think about tax optimization, shared budgets, and mutual support.   In short. I think about things that, while not defined by marriage, are more easily achieved through marriage.

I also think about the sacrifices I am unwilling to make, at this point, to become Mrs. Right.  I think about the time and energy I want to dedicate to my job – time that I have no desire to put into dating.  I think about the people I love, who form non-traditional partner networks around me: my platonic husband C, my play partner and chief agitator Maymay, my newest romantic interest who may or may not want to be named on a blog, my metamour(s)…people whom I love, people whom I invest energy and time in, and people who, let’s face it, take away any urgency I might feel to look for Mr. Right.  (And make me far too messy to be the kind of middle of the road red blooded American girl who is most marketable as Mrs. Right.)

Some days I wonder if I should be doing my future self a favor, just freaking get married so I could cross it off the old todo.  But, y’know, marriage is just not my priority right now.  C is right, my relationship needs are met and I love my life, this saps any motivation I might have for dating like nothing else.

This is all tempered by the fact that I’ve had the chance to get married.  If I was any closer to mainstream I probably would have.  Regardless, the truth of the matter is that I am not married because when faced with the potential in the past I wasn’t ready.  And when faced with the sacrifices and work that goes into meeting someone who is open to and available for marriage today, I’m just not interested.

So yes, there is a part of me that worries about being the only single bridesmaid at my best friends wedding, there’s a part of me that does the math on my fertility, but, there’s no gentler way to put it: it’s just not that important to me and I have enough chutzpah to know that if and when it becomes important I’ll make it happen.

Written by kinkinexile

July 2, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Posted in advice, headspace

Fetlife privacy or lack there of

A few weeks ago, Maymay presented a fetlife exporter/backup tool at KinkForAll San Francisco 2.  This, along with a couple other privacy related conversation at KFASF2 and the related feedback directed both at me and at Maymay, got me thinking. About privacy, yes and always, but also about how people perceive privacy and others’ understanding of it.
The first response I got, almost immediately, was in the “well of course it isn’t private it’s the internet!” camp.  This range of responses seeks to dismiss concerns over privacy and security flaws in Fetlife by asserting that anyone who thought Fetlife was private in the first place is a poopy head.

There’s a problem.  While the line of reasoning is generally correct – Fetlife is on the internet and therefore not private – that doesn’t stop people from treating Fetlife as private and sharing potentially damaging information via the service; perception is reality and Fetlife *feels* like a private clubhouse.  Contrary to popular belief, however, this is not because some users are poopy heads.  Knowledge of how your data is stored, accessed, and used is pretty technically savvy knowledge.  That, or it is digital native knowledge – it is common sense, to the average 16 year old, that anything you post on the internet can be found by your classmates, parents, and friends, but applying this knowledge to Fetlife requires unlearning socially coded knowledge, which many older or less tech savvy users may have ingrained. So, while you might know that Fetlife isn’t private, I am unconvinced that all Fetlife users know this by default.

Fetlife is a BDSM community site, like the local dungeon it is safe and will protect my privacy.
False.  Fetlife uses the goodwill and trust you’ve built with your local scene, especially the subcultural mores you learned before the internet was popular, to make you feel safe.  This community goodwill does nothing to protect your data, however, because Fetlife has extremely low barriers to entry. Anyone – you, your boss, your mom, your estranged spouse – can get a Fetlife account.  Furthermore, unlike in your local dungeon you can’t see them watching you.

 

Fetlife is better for privacy than Facebook.
Fuck if I know, but someone actually said this.  This is sorta false.  Which is to say, Facebook is not a safe space to put your deepest darkest secrets, however, I believe Facebook is safer than Fetlife in a couple of interesting ways.  Facebook allows you to customize how and to whom your data is presented.  It has user specific content segregation, meaning you can show something to your friends but still make sure your mom can’t see it.  You can show something to people you know and their friends but not the world at large, etc.  Fetlife does not.  Any content you post to Fetlife’s forums, event pages and so forth is available to all other Fetlife users, and as we just heard, getting a Fetlife profile is trivial.  As you can see, quite a bit of information is collected, but with the exception of your email address nothing is verified.

Then conversation about Maymay’s exporter tool heated up with the second and rather more bizarre thread of conversation that can be summed up as “how dare you!” and/or “this tool makes Fetlife unsafe!”  Sadly, no, Fetlife has been unsafe far longer than this tool has been in existence.  To my understanding, and more technical minds please correct me if I’m wrong, but this exporter tool doesn’t allow you to access any information not already a) public or b) accessible to the account you’re using this tool through (i.e. your account).  And as we’ve now seen a half dozen times in this post alone, a Fetlife account is trivial to get.

The core of the problem is that Fetlife wasn’t designed for privacy.  Instead, it depends on goodwill to protect its users.  You know, your vindictive former spouse’s goodwill and agreement not to create an account, download the naked pictures you’ve posted to Fetlife, repost them to facebook, and tag you.

Fetlife does not protect users from each other, but it does isolate conversations from the rest of the internet.  That sounds like safety, but is actually a gross approximation of such. When I use Facebook I can post a status that I only want close friends to see, when one of them links to it outside of Facebook any users not in that category “close friends” will not be able to access the content.  Not so with Fetlife – you post something to Fetlife and a friend links to it from outside of Fetlife, sure enough anyone following the link will be presented with a page that explains that this content is only available to members.  They can then sign up and access your content.  It doesn’t matter if you know them, trust them, or are working for them: they can make an account and access the content you create.

What does an exporter tool do?  Well, first it lets you export your data.  Lets say you are looking for a job, you live somewhere conservative, and just to be super duper safe you want to take down your Fetlife profile.  But maybe you’ve used it extensively for years and you don’t want to lose everything you’ve written.  Well, now you have a backup option, go you!
The part that people seem to find frightening though, is that this also makes their content searchable.  In its current iteration, I believe, it makes content that you created and then exported searchable if and only if you then post it somewhere outside of Fetlife, like a website you create.  That is to say, if you do extra work to make it searchable then it will be searchable.  What people fail to note, however, is that this content was already public.  Your data was already vulnerable, there was nothing to protect it besides hobbled search capabilities, and as I’ve said before your biggest security threat is someone who knows you, and they know how to find you.

So what’s the takeaway here?
If the idea that Fetlife is completely open access once you’re inside A) makes sense to you (you know what that means) and B) doesn’t surprise you (you knew this was the case) then you are probably already treating Fetlife in a way that protects your privacy namely by not creating and sharing content you don’t want your mother and your boss to see.  Either that, or you’re very comfortable with your mother and your future or current boss seeing naked pictures of you on the internet.

If, however, the above doesn’t apply to you, then you need to know that anyone with a Fetlife account can access any content you create.  Furthermore, you need to know that the only thing stopping them from posting things like screen captures of things you’ve posted or from downloading and reposting your images, technically speaking, is goodwill.  Yes, doing so will violate the Terms of Service, but violating the TOS will simply have that account banned from Fetlife, forcing the user to rather inconveniently make a new account.

And finally, if you are a digital native and unsure as to why this post needs to exist, consider that Fetlife’s user base includes a population that is very experienced with BDSM but not very experienced with the internet.  Not everyone understands that a walled garden is a faulty privacy model.

 

Written by kinkinexile

June 29, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Posted in advice, privacy, the web

Really?

I got a search hit on my blog today for “how to perform a gyn exam on an orthodox jewish woman.”  Uh, first, how many pages of google search results do you go through before you get to my blog?

Despite the unlikely hit I decided to take a moment to answer this question.  First off, I am not a religious authority nor a medical professional.  If this is a serious concern you might want to talk to either or both of those.  That said, the same way you would perform a medically necessary exam on any other woman with special care and attention paid to modesty if possible.  Don’t be surprised if your patient, naked from the waist down, is quite concerned with keeping her hair covered for example, but don’t stop an emergency response to find a female EMT either.  Male doctors can and do touch orthodox Jewish women, again if it is medically necessary to do so.

While religious law surrounding Negiah (touch), Tzniut (modesty), and Niddah (menstruation or family purity) can be quite strict, I have always been taught to violate any law of Torah to save human life (with special laws regarding murder to prevent death or murder vs. suicide choices I no longer remember).  I suspect that most orthodox Jewish women will seek out female doctors, however in the event of an emergency, medical services can, and in fact must, be provided by the nearest available trained medical professionals.  For example, many Orthodox Jewish women in NY rely on an all male volunteer orthodox ambulance service, Hatzolah, for emergency labor and gynecological issues, though this has caused some controversy as well.

tl:dr version: If you have time, find a female OB-GYN, if it’s an emergency break all the Halakha you need to save human life.

 

 

Written by kinkinexile

February 14, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Posted in advice

So you got a chastity device…

I’m starting to suspect that there is something in the water.  When a friend told me he was into orgasm control I thought it was a response to some of my blogging, when someone else in my social circle piped up about the matter I thought it was so nice that my friends share common interests, but by the third time in a week I found myself being asked for advice on wearing a chastity device I started to suspect there was definitely something in the water.

So the short answer is, well, I have no idea.  I recommend you read the manufacturer’s instructions and follow them as best you can.  Actually, far more strongly than that, I recommend you read maymay’s “Top 10 tips for long-term male chastity device wear.” Keyholders, read this too! No really, as someone who has put more random nonsense in her body than I care to admit just to make sure it was in fact possible, I highly recommend wrapping your head around what the hell is going on with your partner, his cock, and this random bit of plastic or metal currently attached to his cock.  Watching a partner interact with this device was awesome for me both in making the whole process way hotter and in making it far less intimidating for me.  Hotter because it’s not just a matter of the turned on moments, it actually changes everything about things as routine as showering and that rocks!  Less intimidating because, well, most people don’t encounter CB6000s for most of their sexual lives – knowing how it works, what the possible failure modes are, and what happens when your partner is aroused in it is useful.  Knowing how to get your partner aroused when they’re locked up, what they can and can not feel and how they feel about that is useful.  So yeah, read the basics, watch your partner interact with the device, play with the locking mechanism, basically do whatever you need to do to feel like you, and not the device, are in control.

And if you’re wearing the device, well, I have no idea.  I’ve never been in that position.  I suspect having some answer to the following questions is likely good:

  • What are you doing for emotional support while locked up?
  • What are you doing for emotional support through the unlocking process and whatever happens right after for you?
  • Where are the keys?  Is there a spare set? What will you do in a medical or other emergency (for example, what if a death in the family requires you to fly cross country tomorrow)?
  • So, uh, why do you want to be locked up?  What’s in it for you?  What’s in it for your partner?
  • Are you aware of the impact this has on your partner or partners sexually/emotionally/logistically?

Have fun guys!

P.S. People in the know – what am I missing?  What other resources should I point people at?

Written by kinkinexile

February 3, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Posted in advice, Orgasm Control

The internet, security, and privacy

I’ve been seeing a lot of chatter recently about how the FBI will soon be using social networks to spy on you.  While I think that headline overstates the issue in certain specific ways, I have been thinking about data security and privacy on the web for a while, and decided to take a stab at writing about it.

Why this is important and to whom:

You are reading a sex blog.  For some of you, this is an activity you are seeking to keep private from your partner, spouse, parents, children or employer.  Others of you may firmly believe in the value of transparency starting with your personal lives.  Regardless of if you *need* privacy, I encourage everyone to be aware of the information they share, how, with whom, and what impact that may have in various arenas.  If you believe you have nothing to hide, dig a little deeper.

What this is not (disclaimers):

1) I am not a network or data security professional.  There are people who will explain far better and in greater detail than I can how your data works, and in fact, I highly encourage those people to comment here and make this a deeper dive.

2) I believe that you start without an expectation of privacy on the internet and you add layers of privacy through securing your data and being critical about what you share.  I will not share your outrage at what Facebook does with your data because while Facebook may have violated an emotional belief you held about your privacy, they are acting in accordance with their policies in managing data you freely provided.  In other words: if you put it on the web, it is not private just like three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead.

Who uses your data:

I believe there are three main groups of people who want access to your information: other users, people with commercial interests, and government.

Other users including everyone from your mom on Facebook to crazy stalker blog fans.  They may want information for nice reasons (say to wish you a happy birthday on the right day), because of curiosity (or its dangerous older brother, obsession), or for malicious reasons.  As far as I can tell, for most of us, other users are the biggest threat.  Because commercial interests usually utilize aggregate data and most people don’t make FBI watch lists, your mom, boss, or ex is the biggest consumer of your private information.  These people may already know something about you (such as what city you live in or were born in) they are looking for you in specific so they are more likely to take the time to do targeted searches, and they have the most license to be outright malicious.

Commercial interest is where I have spent most of my time gathering data.  When I did user analytics for a video game company I was somewhat shocked by how much access I had to individual players data: IP addresses, names, emails, dollars spent, hours played, times of day they were logged on, etc.  Based on that and other data I could make predictions about their lifestyle, what other game players they may know out of game, what may or may not engage them deeper in the game, and so forth.  I know a lot of people are outraged by the idea that their personal information is being used to sell them things, but this doesn’t phase me.  First, most of the data sets I have worked with either in user analytics or marketing research have been aggregate.  It’s not about you, it’s about you and the other 999 people similar to you.  Second, when I have worked with personalized data, the person wasn’t really the focus – most marketers don’t want to sell to one person, they want to use a story to inform a brand or product that will speak to thousands.  So yes, it’s creepy to see the couch you browsed on Overstock.com follow you to OKCupid, but I don’t find it dangerous.  What does worry me, however, is that all the data search engines, game makers, and marketers have on you can be subpoenaed by the government.

This brings me to the next and last category of data users. The government. Big brother isn’t alarming because he is always watching, he doesn’t watch most people, big brother is alarming because of the scope of information available to him.  Imagine your search history, your library record, your legal record, your finger prints, your travel history, and your credit card usage all in one place.  Imagine the government changing as governments sometimes do and the activities you’ve done without fear suddenly becoming criminalized. The government of Iran uses Facebook friend connections to determine who might be of interest, for example.  Welcome to the future.  I will say that data is only as good as your capacity for analysis, and it is unclear to me at the present moment that the government has the capacity to preform deep analysis at scale.  I suspect, though I certainly could be wrong, that the government can act either as other user or as commercial interest meaning they can either take a deep dive and put all the dots together about a user they already know and are interested in, or they can look at aggregate populations and make some kind of predictions about the populations in question. I assume certain chatter is more or less interesting, but I don’t expect the FBI to start reading my chat logs every time I say the word “bomb.” After all, between “bombing that test” and “that girl being the bomb” simple word tracking would never be able to pull the signal from the noise.

So if you’re still reading, and this is something you’re thinking about, take a look at the EFF blog safety guidelines, review your social network privacy settings, disable geotagging wherever possible, check out the Tor project, change your passwords after breakups and job changes, don’t recycle your passwords, and take a deep breath.  I have very little expectation of privacy online, it helps that I don’t aspire to be president some day, but there you have it.

 

Written by kinkinexile

February 3, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Anatomy of a scene

This is sort of an experiment to see if I could break down the elements of a scene the way one might do a customer or user experience.  The goal is to figure out what some of those unteachable things I kept hitting on were (e.g. empathy) and present them as actions rather than intuition.  Not sure if it worked, you tell me…

Anatomy of a scene

Pre-scene
-Communication
-Expectations
-Landing

Early scene
-Pacing and warm-up
-Rules and protocols
-build persona if desired

Mid-scene
-Build intensity
-Validate experience
-Don’t ask tough questions

End of scene
-Big request or cool-down
-Praise
-Positive touch

Aftercare
-Attention to headspace
-Headspace appropriate interaction
-Praise
-Positive touch
-Physical care

Pre-scene
Questions to ask:
When do you have to be home?
You know puppies aren’t allowed on the couch?
Have you had dinner?
Tell me a fantasy.

-Communication
This is the time to decide what you would like to do, share any relevant news, and make each other aware of outside constraints.  I also like to use this time for casual chatter because that helps me connect with my partner and buffer from the outside world.

-Expectations
This is actually post-negotiation for me…negotiation creates the opportunity for everything on this list to happen.  Expectations in this context are specifically about making sure my bottom has all the information he needs to succeed.  What to call me, if puppies are allowed on the couch, what to do if he needs a break, etc.

Think of social situations where you get details in advance to help make things smooth, for example you might get a description of appropriate dress with a wedding invitation, which helps you avoid awkward situations.

-Landing
This sets the tone, and I prefer a soft landing.  Ideally I start my scenes calmly without confusion.  I don’t like having to look for space at clubs or work too hard to get myself and my partner out of other conversations because this creates a hard and confusing landing.  Landing is about having the tools you want where you expect them, having your partner confident that they can succeed, trusting your own skill, and not having to trip over anything.  Sometimes, however, hard landings are hot.  In interrogation scenes for example I’ll start the scene without warning, when my partner is walking up to the space we plan to play in, or just about to go grab something from the other room.

Think of landing like a landing page; what do you want people to see/feel/experience in the first 15 seconds?  This sets the tone for the next hour.

Early scene
Questions to ask:
Does this feel good?
Are you going to be a good boy/girl/kitty?
Do you remember your safeword?

-Pacing and warm-up
At this point I don’t expect my partner to be in “sub-space” and I believe it takes about 20 minutes for endorphins to take pain processing to it’s top capacity so I start slow unless there is strategic advantage to taking a deep dive early on (SA Landing).  This also sets the pace for the rest of the scene and a good time to drop some cues as to what to expect (what kinds of toys, how much chatter, etc.)

-Rules and protocols
If you have rules or protocols, they should have been outlined in the expectations step, but early in the scene is typically when I act on them.  This may be having my partner kneel, or it may be “gearing up” as it were.  This would be around the time when I pull out any chastity devices for example or quiz my partner on relevant behaviors.

-Build persona if desired
If you’re doing any sort of role playing this is also the time where you’re going to be most in character.  Later you’ll either be into it and not have to focus or that will drop away in the scene, but early on is the time to focus on language,  protocol, set up, lighting, etc.

Mid-scene
Questions to ask:
Pick a number from 5-10.
Pick one thing that scares you and one treat.
Still with me?  Ready for more?
Note the statements and yes/no questions!

-Build intensity
Pretty self-explanatory but this is usually when I have the highest levels of sustained pain or discomfort come in.  Usually I also see a drop off in chatter from my bottom here, so I look for cues especially in new partners in so far as hand movement, eye contact, and facial expression go.  Depending on that I’ll look for responsiveness (squeeze their fingers and see how long it takes them to register and mimic the gesture for example).  This is also where I do the most checking-in to gauge pain tolerance and desirability.   Typically I do this by allowing my bottom to pick the number of strokes from a range (newer partners) or asking “what’s your safeword” (most established partners whom I want to push harder).

-Validate experience
Personally, if I’m hurting you I’m not going to tell you this doesn’t hurt.  That said, there is a lot of power in denying experiences (just think about the last time your were in hospital and someone told you the you weren’t having the symptoms you experienced) It serves to make you feel unheard, lost, confused, and poorly cared for.  In the right context, awesome, but not usually the way I play.  So I like to let my partner know I know this hurts if that’s the case, and acknowledge however they’re expressing submission.

-Don’t ask tough questions
Don’t renegotiate here.  I’ve learned the hard way that it is damn hard to get a complete sentence out of a bottom in the middle of a scene.  This is not the time to ask about the future (When do you have to be home to your wife?) or about what they want in open terms.  I will sometimes ask “which of these two things do you want to be hurt with.” Or give a guided choice such as laying out a number of toys and having someone pick the one they are scared of, or a treat, or one they’ve never used before and are curious about, but limit possible answers and make it easy to get the right answer.

End of scene
Questions to ask:
You’re doing great, will you take 10 more for me?”
How are you feeling?

-Big request or cool-down
This is a good time to start wrapping up, landing softer blows and transitioning to more gentle petting.  This is also the point where I will sometimes put in a “big ask” something I am pretty confident my partner can handle, but they may be nervous about.  Three more cane strokes for example, or one more needle, etc.  Pace what you’re doing to your partners capabilities though, and let them succeed.  If they agree to 10 more strokes and you realize that’s too much, land softer blows.  Realize that getting through what you’re asking your partner can be really really important for them at this point, especially if you have an established play dynamic, so make it possible for them to succeed and work through the challenge with them.  I’m usually honest about what’s coming with a big ask, but this is another space where you can capitalize on fear and helplessness if you so desire.  Saying 3 and landing 5 blows may be fun or funny at the beginning of a scene, but at this stage of the scene it can very challenging.  Another stylistic difference I’m interested in is I tend to use the big ask as just that, an ask; “will you take more for me?” or “This is going to hurt a lot, are you ready to do that for me?”  I’ve seen other people do the same thing in a more forceful “I’m not done with you yet!” kind of way, which is totally hot and works for a lot of people.  I think I personally get off on my partner willingly taking pain to please me, though, so I ask.

-Praise
Your partner has been through a lot, tell them you appreciate it.  I like to pick specific things/moments to praise because that feels more genuine, but typically if your partner is in a floaty submissive head space they want to know they did a good job for you, plus lavish praise pairs well with big asks.

-Positive touch
A lot of the ways you touched your partner for the last little while has been purposefully painful, this is a nice time to bring them down with soft gentle touch.

Aftercare
Questions to ask:
Not many other than “would you like some water?” offer lots of praise instead.

-Attention to headspace
I like to keep a close eye on this one.  Most rewarding for me is partners who let themselves stay in a floaty headspace for a while after the scene, but some people need to come right out of it to feel safe.

-Headspace appropriate interaction
Depending on where my partner is the interaction changes.  Some people recoup by kneeling at my feet while I play with their hair, others want me to get them a snack and see them as equals right away.  I try to make the transition gentle so I tend to defer to where my partner seems to be leading especially with new interactions.  Don’t ask questions your partner can’t answer yet.  Another thing I learned the hard way is making care appropriate to their space: with a partner who comes up quickly I can ask them what they’d like, if I can get them a snack or what not.  With a partner who stays in headspace I usually put them somewhere safe and warm and quiet let them know they can stay there and then bring them a snack or whatever seems appropriate.

-Praise
Praise in this context is a lot like above but also somewhat varied with headspace.  Some people come down hard when they play and don’t want to hear about how they were a “good boy” even if that was ok 10 minutes ago.  Where as praise in scene is often about how good my partner makes me feel or how good they are doing for me, praise post play can be more neutral.  “That was hot.” vs “You’re doing a very good job for me.”

-Positive touch
As above, soft, gentle touch on neutral body parts to help your partner reconnect with the world around them.

-Physical care
This is a great time for food, watter, band aids, etc.

NOTE: You’ve probably gathered that this is from a top’s perspective.  I would love to see this breakdown from the other side…

Written by kinkinexile

January 28, 2012 at 2:36 pm