Kink in exile

Notes from a kinky nomad

Archive for the ‘sex toys’ Category

Product review: Blossom Organics Warm Sensation lube

It’s been a while since I’ve done a product review, and this is perhaps a tame one to start with, but who doesn’t love lube?!

Lube is one of those things that I feel is pretty universally accepted as a sex aid, marital aid, masturbation aid and medical accessory, so I’m always curious about variations on the theme.  While I was familiar with Blossom Organics, I’d never actually tried their products before.  I had tried various “warming” gels, cremes, lotions and potions and was a huge fan of the added sensation especially outside of partnered intercourse.   I was excited about the Blossom Organics Warm Sensation version for two reasons: first it seemed sex safe (not for external use only) and second it came in a hygenic seeming squeeze tube rather than the little creme pots you have to stick your finger in that my last such product came in.

I made one mistake though, and that was to read other people’s product reviews before I had the chance to try it…it seems this product has very different results depending, presumably, on one’s biological makeup. One reviewer on the Goodvibes blog called this product “way too strong,” causing me to delay trying it until after I’d completed some travel “just in case.”  Imagine my surprise then when I had no warming sensation.  No tingling, warming, buzzing…anything.   I tried a couple of times just to be sure, but concluded that the Blossom Organics Warm Sensation lube just didn’t work.  Or rather didn’t work as advertised.  It worked as a lube, didn’t cause any irritation (and I’m pretty sensitive) was viscus enough to get the job done, and long lasting enough to, well, let me get the job done, but had absolutely no added benefits what so ever.

Unfortunately, you’re just going to have to try this one out on your own lady bits to determine if it works for you.  I imagine that if it is too strong for some, and completely ineffective for me, somewhere there is the golden middle path.  Or if you’re just looking for a body friendly and earth friendly lube take a look at Blossom Organics full product line which is all made with natural, “female friendly,” ingredients.

I learned two cool things from this review though:

1) Personal lubricant was first introduced by KY in 1904 (for medical use).

2) Good Vibrations actually carries an entire selection of “ecorotic” toys and accessories which are environmentally friendly, animal product free, and of course, body safe.



Written by kinkinexile

May 27, 2012 at 12:54 am

Orgasm control widgets…

So I have a blog post in the works about “orgasm control by trial and error” But before I get to that I’ve been thinking about the techy side of orgasm control.  Between Maymay’s 2008 Orgasm Permission Machine ,  AlternativeB’s Chastity android app, and my own fascination with thumbprint and RFID locks for chastity devices, I’m wondering what the best of all worlds would be.

The one thing that is super vital for me that no one has covered to my knowledge is the ability to see how often the device was accessed…how many times did the wearer or bottom spin the wheel/test the lock/solve a puzzle, or otherwise attempt to interact with the device?

I also want remote access and ideally, the ability choose between synchronous and asynchronous interaction. For example, I want the ability to either pre-program a time (Tuesday after  2pm) or condition (after you’ve edged 3 times) or switch to manual control and have the device SMS me when my partner is edging to seek further instructions.

I would like to be able to lock and unlock remotely, but I am given to understand that current technology doesn’t allow that in a lock that would be small enough for a chastity device.

I want an at-a-glance readout of the time since the last time my partner had an orgasm, edged, and asked for an orgasm.  A dashboard widget would rock.

Because I’m a nerd, I want to also have this data in a log format so I can look for trends and see if there are any ideal frequencies I’d prefer to work with.

I want this to work well when my partner and/or are mobile, so it would need access via mobile devices, if there is a component that needs to be worn it should be easy to lock and unlock remotely as well as easy to remove for air travel and border crossings.  A high level of communication and interaction should be built into the use experience (not a lock it and forget it device).  Nothing heavy, or hard to transport should be required for use.

And a personal caveat…while some actual chastity devices are cool, the part I kink on primarily is having my partner ask permission to masturbate or orgasm and knowing that I have ownership over that experience.

So with all that in mind, what I would like to see is an app that has the following features:

  • ability to link two or more users
  • ability to set parameters by which the question “may I have an orgasm” is answered via probability, with one of a series of tasks, based on a preset schedule or using a combination of these methods.
  • the ability to override the above such that the question “may I have an orgasm” triggers an SMS to a specific other user who may respond directly or choose from preset options.
  • an at-a-glance display of the last time permission to orgasm was asked, the last orgasm granted, and the last 3 tasks assigned/completed
  • an ability to generate reports such as frequency of requests (by day of the week or time of day even) frequency of orgasms, any tasks assigned but not completed etc. and/or the ability to export data for Excel, SAS, or SPSS.

Nice to have features include:

  • some method for recording bottom’s emotional state during ask
  • personal requests – bottom must write a personally worded message rather than hit an “orgasm?” button.  Even if the answer is automated requests are sweet and sexy and I for one would collect them to read later.

Possibly useful maybe just confusing:

  • error handling for human errors (reporting/logging “unallowed” orgasms)
  • orgasm assignment (because the orgasm you have are as important to me as the one’s you don’t have I want to be able to assign you to have an orgasm, either just in general or with certain parameters…) User should be notified via SMS of new assignments.

What do you think?  What am I missing?  What features can’t be done or contradict each other?

Written by kinkinexile

December 27, 2011 at 12:09 am

Wedge air pillow:

Have you ever noticed how a pillow makes everything better. A strategically placed pillow under your hips helps you get just the right spots during sex and makes everything flow…or at least it does for me. Being a long time fan of the pillow, and an I’ll-try-anything-once kind of girl I was very excited to try the Wedge Air Pillow by Doc Johnson. It seemed at first glance like a great idea, just like a pillow but with more shape and the promise not to get squished too early. The promises of easy storage and cleanup sealed the deal.

The Wedge Air Pillow, exciting as it is, is a departure from my usual luxe sex toys with their carefully designed packaging. It arrived in a cardboard box with the kind of image typical of adult novelty stores. That said, the fact that it came with it’s own air pump and spared me the desperate runabout with a broken ball point pen and bike pump that I experienced with the Tilt Master, makes this package just fine in my book.

The air pillow itself is a mixed bag. True to its promise, the Wedge keeps its shape, has a soft fabric cover, and is easy to clean and store. The problem I had was that it was just a spot too big for me to fit comfortably. I’m a small person (5’1″) but still. Bending over it doggy style caused it to press uncomfortably into my stomach though laying on my back, head up or down the wedge, was pretty good. Over all I think this is a good alternative to the pricier Liberator having tried both (and having had similar size compliments for both actually). And while not as compact as your vibrators, the Wedge does deflate and fit nicely into the closet or under the bed when not in use, something that can’t be said of the Liberator.

I’d say check it out if you like props or hard to get into positions.

Written by kinkinexile

November 5, 2010 at 10:11 am

Package design and a review

Maybe because I was visiting a printing press yesterday, maybe it’s just because I’m a dork, but the first thing I noticed about the Bliss 3 is the packaging. The outside cardboard sleeve has a really nice use of embossing that makes it look like a fancy DVD box set. The outside sleeve also has half circle cuts at the outside edge so you can easily grip the inside box and pull it out. The inside box, a purple two part pull-open, is less impressive but still nice. The inside is clearly inspired by a mac book box though, complete with branded tab that lets you pull up the top toy holding tray to reveal the batteries, storage baggie, and manual bellow.

Why do I mention all of this? Because packaging adds a lot to the perceived value of a product, and it seems to be on the forefront of the sex toy revolution. Think about it. Put the same vibrator in a transparent plastic blister-pack with a picture of a porn star on the front and you have a different product. Make it beige and put it in a brown paper bag and you have a different product. I’m not saying that the qualities of the vibrator aren’t important, they are, and we’ll get to them shortly. What I’m saying, however, is that the care and attention paid to the packaging of high-end sex toys highlights the engineering and design that went into the actual toy and changes our opinions of who should buy this product, where, and for how much.

I guess non-geeks out there might want to know about the actual toy though, right? The Bliss 3 is about 5 inches long and over an inch in diameter. It is made out of silicon, and powered by AAA batteries (which are included with the toy in the little sub toy compartment that looks oh so much like a mac book box). The toy claims to be super quiet using “whisper-quiet” technology but I didn’t think it was any more or less quiet than the bulk of high-end vibrators I have seen. The 9 vibration patterns range from 3 levels of continuous vibration to more exotic pulsing patterns and are very, very nice (try #4!) These are all controlled through one power button at the base. I like the simplicity of just one button, but it would actually be nice to be able to go forward and backward instead of having to cycle through all 9 patterns if you miss the one you wanted.

Long story short: Nice vibrator with plenty of options to choose from and a very pretty presentation that makes this a great spoil-yourself-silly kind of toy.

Written by kinkinexile

April 24, 2010 at 12:15 am

Sexy gifts?

I review a lot of sex toys, and one of the things I look for in my reviews, especially this time of year, is giftability. But can you really give a sex toy as a gift? Opinions vary. On first pass it may seem like a reasonable gift for a lover, but not a friend, but then what if your sex life has been rocky? It could be seen as patronizing. And I for one have given sex toys to friends with ease.

Can I give my wife/girlfriend/spouce a Christmas vibrator?
I would say that if your sex life is generally healthy and enjoyable for both of you, and your partner has not expressed any anti-sextoy sentiment then it’s safe to say yes. If you haven’t had sex in 3 months and it’s a point of contention in your relationship I recommend something more natural like a comfy bath robe or piece of jewelry.

Can I give sex toys to my friends?
Ok, so I have given sex toys to my (platonic) girlfriends. My best girlfriends, mind you. Usually this wasn’t a “I went out and bought you something” it was more like “I have a surplus of this thing I’m reviewing, do you want the extra?” If you’re getting sextoys for a friend keep it light. Vibrating rubber duck — sure. Extra large butt plug — let her get it for herself.

Can I get something sexy for my hot coworker?

How do I pick a sex toy for someone else?
One of the reasons you should only get sextoys for people you know well is that they are hard to buy for other people. If you’re shopping for a partner, consider shopping with them. Otherwise go for something kinda cute, on the small side maybe. Alternately, consider a gift certificate and a card with a sexy promise.

Written by kinkinexile

November 27, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Posted in advice, fun stuff, sex toys

On web design

Has anyone else noticed that the makers of BDSM toys have abysmal websites? I mean high contrast graphical backgrounds, frames that don’t load clearly or resize well, animated gifs? Good lord I made websites better than this in ’98 and that seems to be the last time they updated too!

I don’t get it. I especially don’t get it in light of how many kinky geeks I know. I’m wondering if I can barter graphic design and web work for sex toys, or should we be above good interface design cause kink is more important?

In other news I was at Mr. S for an art opening last night, and happened to ask about rattan canes since I’m in the market. Turns out they no longer sell unfinished rattan ’cause it’s porous and they would like to protect people from themselves. Um, ok. So yes, you should in fact be careful when using unfinished rattan because it is in fact porous and as such can cross contaminate. This is why I wanted one specifically for the person I’m planning to use it on — except they will sell me things with which to mummify people and limit their oxygen supply but not raw rattan. Very good, but where do I get rattan?

If you’re about to say the internet, I tried. I looked through a few websites that were so disorganized and slow to load I didn’t stick around long enough to figure out if they could help me. So, in San Francisco, where do I get a good old fashioned unfinished rattan cane. With a normal dipped handle is fine.

Written by kinkinexile

April 4, 2009 at 6:58 am

toy review — paddles, oh my

Here is another one of those toys that I just melt over — the Fetish Fantasy studded Ace of Spades paddle. The heavy leather paddle is rimmed with metal studs and has the cutest heart shaped cutout in the middle. These are lovely decorative elements but they also serve a practical purpose — the cutout lowers air resistance making this toy easier to swing for harder blows (it also leaves cute, heart shaped, welts). The metal studs leave little round welts when you hit just right, and I am told by the object of my affection that the cold studs are a nice tactile contrast especially on hot bruised skin. I can’t seem to find this specific toy on (maybe Domina can help me?!), but this toy looks very similar.

To be sure this toy is mean. The heart shape is a cruel tease…like so many of my favorite toys, it lulls you into a false sense of security before showing its true nature and making you beg and plead for mercy.

If you are looking for something a little less intense try the fantasy patent paddle by Fetish Fantasy. This stylish vinyl paddle lacks the weight to cause real damage but it’s still stingy enough to leave you smarting. It had a comfortably shaped handle, and a cute two-tone design. The lighter more flexible materials puts this toy squarely in the stingy category. It’s a great warm up toy too if you’re working your way up to something heavier like the Ace of Spades above.

Check out these toys as well as other fetish and BDSM toys on the Sex Toys page!

Written by kinkinexile

March 31, 2009 at 12:47 pm