KinkForAll, blogs, fashion and lattes for this Sunday afternoon…
Ok, now that I got that last post out of my system, here is why I’ve been under a rock for weeks!
KinkForAll San Francisco 2 is 2 months away!!! This is awesome and scary all at once. Maymay wrote an awesome synopsis of all the ways you can help, so I won’t repeat him, but in short, print fliers, paste fliers, tell your friends, sign up, join us!
Sex blogger and sex geek office hours are returning! Interested? Excited to check out a hot new spot in downtown Oakland? Need some heads down and yet social time to work on your plan to take over the world in the company of sex geeks and good coffee? Drop me a note so I can make sure you get the latest.
Peroxide‘s post on Realism and realistic relationship expectations is an interesting take on fantasy and reality and couples nicely with a book I’ve been reading on Andrea‘s recommendation: How to Capture a Mistress. How to Capture a Mistress seems to be a basic introduction for the sexually submissive but inexperienced man looking for a dominant partner. While I’m clearly not the target audience, I do find Karen Martin’s focus on self respect as well as her dedication to separating fantasy from reality, complete with a fantasy-need-reality worksheet, refreshing. One thing I have noticed though, is that for all the 101 books, I have yet to find a good 201 or 301 out there.
Another good post I missed while hiding under a rock is Andrea’s Why Rape Jokes Aren’t Funny Even If You’re Kinky. I love this post for its pairing of strong voice with analysis and its ability to make an emotional topic logical. I am especially interested in point #3; apparently while feminists don’t think all men are rapists, rapists actually do. Andrea quotes another blogger as saying “Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better…” An interesting reason to avoid giving anyone the impression that rape is blaze.
And now I’m off to read and enjoy the last bits of weekend peace.
Kink in exile 
I really like the blog post that Andrea quotes, (hers is solid too) the first time I read Organon’s post is one of the only times I can remember doing a complete 180 on a subject from one article. I had always been a big proponent of freedom for humor to make light of any topic, but reading this passage:
“rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape. If one in twenty guys (or more) is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends…It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another, someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed… when you laughed?.. That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.”
Made me feel sick. And it made me really reevaluate what I say, it was quite the eye opener.
Peroxide
April 15, 2012 at 9:31 pm